Qing Ming Festival

The season to remember the dead and also appreciate the living. I was told that the actual day of Qing Ming falls on the Wednesday 5 April. All the rush to the cemetries, temples started 10 days before and after this date. Someone was telling me, its unlucky to go pay respect after this date.

Today, being the filial daughter and grand-daughter, I drove my granny, aunt and mum to the temple where my grand-dad and his ancestors ashes were kept. The temple is at Jalan Senang, somwhere located in Kembangan among those private estates. Not many people there this noon, at least the air wasn't reeking with "ashes" and "smokes" from incense and what not. Strict rules on no burning of offering thus, many had to bring back boxes and boxes of paper offerings.

We paid our respects to my grand-dad, grand-grand parents, grand aunties and two uncles who passed away during their prime. We displayed grapes, apple, oranges, vegetarian bee hoon, canned drinks, marble cake, pandan cake, some chinese style cakes on the table. Took the incense and pray for the ancestor to "come" and "eat". Meanwhile, we went to the hall where all the ashes were kept. Looked for grand-dad and the ancestors.

Mum and me helped granny wipe the photos on the ash holder, then I was a tad busy body reading what was written on it. I was reading on my grand-auntie when I realised she passed away at age 31? Gosh.. I asked my aunty E why? and she secretly whispered that my Feng grandaunt went for an abortion and died after it went wrong.

Nevertheless, this "kind" were the carried out by the illegal "doctor". Aunty E explained that during the 1960s, people were poor and she was too poor to have more kids as she had 5 already! Grand-aunt went to seek help from a Malay woman to had an illegal abortion. Aunty E added that she heard the Malay woman took a stick to "stir" the foetus to kill it! Yucks! I can't imagine the pain and the blood. Oh, Grandaunt was having twins. She died with the babies.

Aunt was describing the surgery when we were interrupted by granny. Thus no chance to hear more. Time to pack up our offering to go. Mum made me do the double "red crescent" thing where I got to pray, ask my ancestor whether they have their filled and threw it on the ground. If it show alternate sides, it means they have "eaten". Mine showed alternate meaning ok. We packed up and headed back to another temple after this.

I wonder, whether this ritual has been lost among the young people nowadays? I hardly see any younger people in the temple except people my mum's age and granny's. ( I would say abt 40-80 yrs old) Hardly see one in 20s or 30s. Does this mean that nowadays our society has come to a stage where one has no time to pay respect to their ancestor, even once every year?