When my boss is in trouble

My very capable senior M, mother of four who manages a very small unit supporting the entire division in tenders and contract administration.

When I joined the unit last year, M was definitely the blue eye girl whom everyone told me is very influential in my division. However one year later, my senior seemed to has lost her midas touch.

What a shift in fortune. Currently, my unit is in the hot spot for not performing and making mistakes. In my directors eye, the blunders M made is seen as our unit not performing. Very unfair.

Just when i thought there is future in my current position, my senior fate is going to adversely impact my career.

Much to do about Promotion

These few days, office is abuzz with speculations on our pay increment and THE promotion list.

Last friday, those who are not to be promoted received their consolation prize of the annual increment. Not alot, a single digit percent of our meagre salary but nevertheless additional money. This Cat of course is excited to receive more money. Because Cat can spend more now!!

However one particular colleague was maddened by the increment because she expects more! Thus, there was banging of cabinet, and then face blacker than charcoal. All sensible ones (like yours truly) had to avoid her because we can't stand the blacker than black face and the anger radiaton.

Today, the promotion results are out. Those who we thought will be promoted, promoted. Those whom we didn't expect to be promoted, are also promoted. Mr T whom i earlier blogged about, hope and hope but was unfortunately not promoted. Hence fulfilling the prophecy made by several staff who i surveyed earlier. (maybe i should survey about myself !)

Of course, Mr T is devastated. Because this is the year, where staff fulfilling 2 years of service regardless of any meritocracy are being promoted. If he miss this round, chances are they will not be another one.

Sigh... when will my turn comes ? ? ? (for promotion of course)

Concert Again

This afternoon, my new piano teacher asked me to perform in the year end concert.

I got to say this Cat is no good, but then he thinks that I am better than his other students. Haha. So, this thick skin Cat of course seize the opportunity to perform. Take it as a good chance to build up my guts and hone my performing skill.

The song i decided (or my teacher Dragon decided) is "Fly me to the moon." The style i got to play is ballad, then to Latin. Very difficult to get the rhythm correct. Teacher today had to whip out his teaching stick to scare me because this Cat couldn't get the chords and notes right!
But hey!! This Cat not young any more, where got scared? ahaha

The new style of playing is difficult because I couldn't stretch one octave with my palm. And because of this, i have difficulty playing full chords and block chords. Now i am starting to regret that i say yes. The next few months will probably playing one song only. So waste my money.

Maybe should tell Dragon that I am going for holiday..Then no need to practise hard !!!

I am pissed

So very bad mood. Especially since i have been having alot of self doubts recently. Also i realised that I am having problems pronouncing words which are easy. And to add that I am not speaking coherently thinkly clearly. Everything seems to be a mess in my life right now.

And i am feeling a pulling sensation on my right pelvic area. The place where I had my surgery last year. Shit! Could it be a re-occurence. I need to see my gynae soon! Argh..

At home, no one to talk to because T is sick and is throwing tantrum. I really dislike his grumpy self. Irritate the hell out of me and I wondered why in the world i married such a grumpy, and miserable sod. It's not my fault that medical sucks in China and he is taking forever to recover from his tonsil infection.

Serve him right to stay in China and leaving me here. Maybe its time for me to start going out and have fun again.

No more stay at home.. auntie doom.

Can i say i am single? (since i am living a singleton life. Not entirely wrong yah?)

Post Lasik Checkup

Time flies. Today I was scheduled to return to Optimax clinic for my annual checkup. This is the 3rd checkup since i did the lasik 3 years ago. So far, my vision is still good. I can still see 6/6 with both eyes.

Before the lasik operation, Cat was a blind bat because my myopia was over 700 degrees on both eyes. 3 years later, my left eye is perfect vision, and right eye a residue of 50 degrees myopia and 75 degree of astig.

The only side effect from the lasik is my dry eyes. Optometrist advise me not to stare at the computer screen for long hours. How not to? Plus i luvvvv watching TV and recently back to watching marathon serial.

Oh my god. My eyes.. sure die.

So many sick

Darling T is sick. Down with fever and infection on his tonsil. As i have written in my earlier blog, medical care in China is to go to the hospital for drip. No small clinics like Singapore.

Today is the fourth day, and T is not getting better. I wonder how to survive in China like this? Medical care is so convenient in Singapore.

On the other hand, dad is getting better. He went to work yesterday and as expected, ate whatever he like. As of yesterday evening, he ate half a bag of strawberries and 2 pears. How to control? I wonder what he ate for lunch?

Life too unpredictable. I just attended the wake of my ex-student's father. He was 53 and died 3 months after diagnosis of end stage lung cancer.

So many sick and bad news make me very depressed.

I can be a night shift security guard

After seeing Spookiemouse personal note on her msn, I think I could also be a night shift security guard too!

This cat has officially upgraded to another Cat- Panda. Even the 2 days of MC last thursday and friday didn't help. Tired.. Tired.. Tired...

Eyes so tired, but the body just wouldn't sleep. Feel damn "pek chek".

The power within me

I didn't know that i have such a strong gut vocal which will unleash unintentionally when i feel threatened or i have a need to defend myself. Though Cat is not known as soft spoken person, neither I am a loudspeaker.

This evening,this cat actually raised my voice while arguing with my two big bosses. Bosses who have the power to stuff out my career. No matter what, if I have to defend my professional judgement, I have too. That's what i am employed for and that's what i was trained for. And especially it was all for the good interest of the company.

Even my colleague P was fed up with my bosses for not employing staff to assist her. The recent new staff for our division were for maintenance and some special system. Poor P, who has been piloting solo on new projects for quite a while now. No second officer in sight for her. Boss told her that it will take 2-3 months, somewhere in october when my senior management approved the hiring of more staff.

Being the naughty me, I cheekily said that if my bosses were to say that to me. I would have reply

"Like that resignation faster leh. Only 1 month"

And

To the staffing policy. I would have said

"Whats the point of hiring baby sitter when the baby is still not born yet?"

Maybe I'm more garang because I have a spring board that can spring me to Chengdu. *wink*

Is marriage so difficult to maintain?

Every fairytale or almost every one has a " live happily ever" plot for the hero and heroine.

But is the real world like this? Did the hero and heroine live happily ever after??

Perhaps, Cinderalla and her prince need not worry about how to earn more money so as to afford a condominium, a luxury car, a maid (why they have many!) and when he is getting his promotion.

Both of them also need not worry the stress and temptations of the modern world like Sex, Gambling, Fame, Status. After all, the fairy tale world is picture perfect.

The prince and the princess will love each until the day they die. (Think so, though its not written, must give Hans Christian Anderson the benefit of doubt)

But......

Is the true world like this?

Earlier this evening, I finally met up with my poly mates who braved through thick and thin with me during the times we were in Singapore Polytechnic. Once again, one of them dropped the big bomb saying that she is getting the divorce. Her reason - Husband is an impulsive gambler. We didn't know that she has been paying his debts for so many years. After all, she was the picture of happily married woman. Kid, husband, successful career and all. And her husband is her childhood sweetheart since eighteen.

Her enough is finally enough when she found her front door splash with red paint. When her husband failed to pay the car instalments and her car (under husband's name) was towed away. And any love for him was utterly doused, when he said he is not going to care and visit his daughter after the divorce.

And the ironic part is, among the six of us, three have been though a divorce. One fortunately managed to salvage her marriage after counselling. The rest of us are still luckily living "happily" but for now. Even J brother is also getting a divorce. It seems like divorce is so the rage these days. Not happy. Divorce loh. What happen to the death till up part oath/vow we took?

At the end of the evening, we agreed that marriage and family is still the most important in our life. The pain of a failed marriage is something not even money can compensate. A hole that stay and burn in your heart forever.

Hungry Ghost Month

Today is the start of the Hungry Ghost Month. This morning, I walked out of my apartment to see some elderly auntie burning incense paper on the carpark. I didn't read too much to it until Spookiemouse msn me this morning telling me about her close encounter with that kind.

Last night, Spookiemouse woke up halfway to see her handphone lighted up when she remembered switching it off. There was no call nor sms. Yeeeh...... I told her that maybe she was having nightmare "Hum bin" but she is very sure she switched it off.

Even me, had my own close encounter. Last night (pass 12 am) i thought i heard some noise in my living room. Something that sounded like the door knob turning. I couldn't care less cos i am very sure that i locked my door.

Today is the just beginning.. 60 more days to go. Will there be more spookie things happening??
Maybe should ask Spookiemouse to go pray with me for "ping an" during this lengthy 2 hungry ghost months.

At a crossroad

Still feeling very wide awake after a lenghty tele-conversation with T. Tonight, especially tonight I succumbed to the lonely and missing you bug and for once had a heart to heart talk with T.

As usual, T with capital letters IMPATIENT T refused to speculate any sensible "what if" scenarios. He said I have cried wolves too many times and now he rather not raised his hopes too high. Indeed Cat has been giving false hopes that I WILL go. But I have never committed the time. I reminded him that all my plans are basis on whether he got his promotion, and that only realised on 1st July 2006. ( only 24 days ago)

So you can't blame me for being fickle minded. We all agreed that we will look into the matter seriously after you got you promotion!

Now, dad's illness was something unexpected and threw another perspective in the whole equation.

Life is full of choices. But sometimes, some choices are very difficult to make. There's no eat 2 cakes scenario. Any choice I choose, I lose something.

Things which are practically close to my heart.

Sigh.... Sleepless night again.

Dad who eats whatever he likes

Dad who now looks 10 years older his age and very much like my grandfather, has zilch self-control on food. His illness is the result of so too much carbonated drinks, oily food, high protein food etc. Food which taste good but harmful to our health.

Dad has never liked home-cooked food. It doesn't help that my working mum did not work and we all grew up on my grandmother bland homecooking. Dad would often bring us out for delicious supper. Supper like the famous Beh Sua Pu (hokkien translation of Bugis) Chicken, Yu Sheng, Congee or Joo Chiat Place Fei Fei Wan Tan Mee. Dad's passion for food brought us to so many places. Sometimes Joo Chiat, Haig Road, Katong, Changi you name it. We've been there. And those days in the eighties, times were not so good. Not many people went around eating like this. At least not my neighbours nor my classmates. Fortunately, Cat grew up without much hardship. Eating whatever food given to me, attended "additional" classes than friends. What more can i ask for?

Knowing Dad's weakness for food. I specially asked the Doctor to speak to him last friday.

Doc : Uncle, you cannot anyhow eat already. You only can drink 500ml of water everyday.
Cat : See lah. You cannot drink soft drinks already.
Dad : Coke can?
Doc : Cannot.
Dad : Orange Juice?
Doc : No orange juice and fruit juice. From now cannot drink all juices.
Dad : Coconut?
Doc : Also cannot.
Cat : What about fruits doctor?
Doc : Uncle, you also cannot eat fruits which has high potassium content. Only can eat one piece of apple a week and maybe watermelon. The rest you cannot eat already.
Dad : ......."looking forlorn and speechless"......

**************

Last week, Aunty P brought lycees to visit dad. Dad as usual, no self control asked to eat one. So one he ate, and then two, then four. Mum who knew nothing feed him as per request. I wasn't around so no one to stop. There were still many remaining lycees so Aunty P gave some to dad's two neighbours. All of them (whom eyes the lycee previously) happily ate the juicy fruits.

And that night , the sugar level of the 3 patients shot up and each of them given a jab to reduce their sugar level. Haha.. a painful price to pay for just eating 4 nos of lycee. (and also sabo the other 2 patients for giving them the lycee :p)

Ban my Aunty P to the hospital.

Oh.. and last night i was furious with mother because dad's asked her to bring him fishball noodle DRY w/ chilli and she unknowingly fed him that! Also, this afternoon fed him chee chong fan!! Argh.....

I am going to draw up a list of food he can and cannot eat. *Evil Grin*

National Education

Yesterday was a one full day crash course on National Education. Cat is notvery proud to say that I was volunteered to be an Airport Liaison Officer during the IMF event in the coming September 2006.

After a full day course, I learnt that Service Quality is

1. Must SMILE. (That's what the 4 million smiles campaign all about. Nevermind, my granny no teeth. Gums also can)
2. Never say NO. (very difficult leh.. especially for ladies)
3. Go the extra mile.
4. Promote Singapore. (Must be able to spout at a snap of finger tips, Singapore achievements. Best Airport, Best port (Still?) etc etc)

Anyway, Cat was most interested in the food section - What is the top 10 food that represents Singapore?

1. Chicken Rice (Me and T all time favourite)
2. Char Kway Teow
3. Bak Ku Teh
4. Satay
5. Roti Prata
6. Rojak
7. Curry Fish Head
8. Fried Carrot Cake (This one is meh??)
9. Chilli Crab
10. Laksa

What happen to our Kaya toast, Bak Chor Mee, BBQ Fish, Big Prawn Noodles?

Anyway, our service quality has nothing to rave about. Even Hong Kong has over-taken us in a recent survey. I was told recently that our one famous Bak Ku Teh shop refused to extend the working hours for Hong kong Finance Minister upsetting alot of Hong Kong press. For more information. Pls click here.

Overdress?

I am very fond of wearing dress to work. Mainly because Cat has a tendency to wake up late which left say couple of minutes to decide what to wear for the day before pulling out the ensemble. Very risky because if I am still half asleep, I will piece together a nasty combination and regret like hell (bloody miserable ) after I see myself in the office mirror .

So, dresses are often the safest bet because they tax the least fashion brain power.

As usual I woke up late for work this morning. I grabbed my newest purchase, a black dress. The sleeveless dress has a low v neckline, but not too indecent for office since it does not expose any cleavage and flare skirt up to my calves and a very stark contrasting white sash tie as a ribbon around the waist. I paused on the mirror on my way out, a little dressy for work but hell. No time already!

And....... the whole morning whoever i meet in office commented something. Most of them nice comments. BUT won't you be irritated if whoever you meet in office stop and give their comment on how you look? I was fine with the first few but it eventually got to my nerves when almost ALL my colleagues stopped and discuss my attire. In the end, I have to resort to saying "YES. I AM ATTENDING WEDDING DINNER TONIGHT" to shut them up. How bloody pathetic.

It also doesn't help that lunch was a appreciation dinner for all the senior officers from my organisation. Thus, I am "EXPOSED" to colleagues from other division. People (Men especially) who never see me before ( i bet they saw me) said hello and exclaimed that they hardly see me before. Even a director (rumored to be lecherous) singled me out and asked me for my name saying that he did not meet me before. Gosh... I felt like a stupid and irritated eye candy.

My conclusion. In an organisation it helps being a pretty young thing because you get noticed! Visibility counts greatly.

THE DRESS THAT GRABBED ALL THE ATTENTION

Hospital week

It had been a busy week since dad admitted to hospital. I had to play the role of a dutiful daughter and visit him whenever i can. It doesn't help that I work in Changi Airport and he is staying in SGH.

For the past few days, I have been a regular visitor to SGH. Very tiring because I have to commute to and fro from east to central, most of the time by MRT. I only took a break on Sunday because I was too ill to visit. Down with a cold.

Dad was lucky to have so many people turning up to visit him everyday. At least the morale support helps in cheering him up. So far, he undergone 3 dialysis since Saturday and has been showing tremendous improvement. His creatinin level has dropped from 1270 to about 500. A normal person creatinin level is below 100.

I didn't visit him today as I'm back in office after spending 2 days in British Council learning how to write.

Hopefully, that will make me a better writer in future.

Life is still looking bright this moment.... Must maintain my fighting strength for more adventures ahead.

I AM CAT FIGHTING.....!!!!

Thanks for the concern

I didn't realise I have so many friends reading my blog. These two weeks has been a difficult time for me, but because of the emotional support from you, everyday seems brighter. I don't know what to say, except thank you.

Dad was warded this afternoon in SGH. There's really nothing we could do, except watch helplessly when the doctor tried (many times) to draw his blood for test. I couldn't really bear to see him looking so lost and forlorn. The house doc was saying that due to the high toxic level in his blood, he might be having some confusion internally.

According to the nurse, there are 2 types of dialysis. Water and blood. The water treatment is very cumbersome. You can do it at home but need the assistance of a maid. The tricky part is, you got to go through the dialysis 4 times a day! Wah.... How to live like this?

The blood treatment is equally as trying. It has to be done 3 times a week, 4 hours per session.

We didn't get the chance to speak to the NKF co-ordinator and dad's doctor as it was after 5pm when the admission was completed. The next step is to apply for the NKF dialysis and get the as much subsidy as possible. Brother is tasked to meet the doctor and go to do the NKF thingy tomorrow.

Wonder what is dad doing now?

Another Perspective in Life

I haven't been getting much sleep lately. Not sure whether it was due to dad's illness or that i simply just can't sleep.

Thanks to Shaggyfish who immediately MSN me when she read my blog. She provided alot of advices as she had experienced what I will be going through in the next many years of life. Kidney treatment is very painful for the patients and their family, especially the emotional trauma coupled with the physical pain the patient has to go through . The endless poking of needles to find the veins, bruises, lengthy hours and visits to the dialysis centre. Life will never be the same again.

I haven't been to any NKF dialysis centre before, but come soon I will probably need to conquer my fear of needles to provide moral / emotional support to my dad, who unfortunately is very terrified of pain. (He hates to see the doc!)

The hospital called up and dad has to go for a blood test tomorrow and likely an operation on thursady. I was talking to him this evening, he is sounding less coherent. Not a good sign. It just dawn on me that life is so fragile.

Suddenly, i just feel that having kids has its own advantages. At least, they will be around to provide emotional/ financial support when you are ill. (and the "send the clock" part) :p


Oh and today (just past) is Shaggyfish birthday. Happy Birthday to Shaggyfish!

Dad is Sick

The world came crashing down on my family's feet when dad has to go for dialysis.

Yes, it was a shock. But we are somewhat expecting something like this. Dad's health has taken for a worse in recent months especially he has lost so much weight which is very visible on his small frame.

Last week, we forced my brother to accompany my dad to his schedule visit to SGH which he usually does it alone. It was there that the doc said dad's kidney function has reduced to a mere 10% and need to go for dialysis. All along, dad was telling us he doesn't need to go as yet, which we took it for granted. Now, after few years it finally come to light he has been keeping to himself his condition and that the dialysis cannot wait.

Somehow, I felt rather remorseful that all of us didn't bother to accompany him for his checkup. At least we would be able to coax him to go for the dialysis or even sharing his emotional fear. Even when i see him last thursday, he was quite optimistic that the doctor was scaring him. Argh.... I really give up.

So, the next step for us to sign him up for NKF and think of how to minimise the blunt of the enormous dialysis bill. Unfortunately we are neither that needy to fall below the average mean of 3.5k per montly income, nor that rich to be able to cash out $2k per month for the dialysis.

Maybe this whole event is going to throw a spanner into my grand plans of going to Chengdu. Can't think now. Too bloody depressing.

Which was why i have no mood to blog for the entire last week.

My childhood hero

Watching Superman Returns brought back memories of growing up in the eighties. Those days where cinema tickets costed about $2.50 and there's kacang puteh Tumbi standing outside the entrance, selling what else but kacang puteh and Superman was - Christopher Reeves!!

Superman. My childhood hero in blue tights and the red cape. When I was young, i used to imagine myself as Superman, flying around with a towel and jumping up and down imitatng the some flying stunts in the movie. Also fighting my brother as if he was the evil Lex Luther. I am the Superman of my house!! (my brother can only be Lex Luther! Hehe)

Now twenty years later, I don't want to be Superman anymore! I want to be Lois Lane!! Hahaha... Replacing CR as Superman, I thought Brandon Routh did a terrific job. His chiselled look and he muscles oh... to die for. Perhaps I have grown up, suddenly Superman become a sex symbol as well. Especially with those muscles threathening to burst through the blue tights! Watching BR alone is worth the $9.50 movie ticket!

Heres a handsome pic of Superman! Drool.....

Picture taken from Warnerbros website. (Gracing my desktop background now)

By the way, i don't remember Christopher Reeves as muscular as BR. Must go check out the previous movies.

Double Celebration

Yesterday was a night of celebrations. Many good tidings (2 promotions) and 2 birthdays.
Just yesterday morning, T emailed me to confirm his promotion and the increase of his salary. So now cat has to decide whether to go china or not. (I shall fuss about it later)

Spookiemouse sms me to say that Litep is again promoted. Wah... how can. He seems to be doing the promotion jump once every two years. What is he now? Deputy Director. Maybe going to be chief executive in 10 years to come.

Back to Cat's house, we threw a steamboat celebration for Spookiemouse and lacy cat. It's their birthday next week. As lacy cat is the "pan tan" kind, she sternly reminded us not to wish her happy birthday as she is still in mourning for her granny.

So, each of us contributed something to Cat's house for the steamboat. Heres the pictures to show.

Monsieur C's Favourite Satay!

Happy C posing with her satay and the steamboat spread

ohh lala... the food..

G and spookiemouse glowing with happiness (not that kind mind you)

Happy times together, C and Spookiemouse

Rest of the gals with spookiemouse


It was such a fun night! I am so happy!!! he he hee
(husband forgotten)